


Take My Hand

by clizziem



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Death, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Hakoda (Avatar) is a Good Parent, He Gets a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Serious Injuries, Starvation, Won’t be super graphic but just being safe, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-24 16:22:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30074991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clizziem/pseuds/clizziem
Summary: Hakoda's fostered and adopted a bunch of kids since he had his own and married his husband. There's one more spot left in his house full of love and happy little ones.Zuko's sent to America for his own safety after getting removed from his father's house. But he's nine years old and probably too much for anyone to care for after what happened in November.Or: Hakoda takes in a scared little boy from Korea and shows him that he's worthy of love and a proper family.
Relationships: Bato/Hakoda (Avatar), Hakoda & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 215





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy anyone reading this. I've had this little piece of brain rot growing in my head for a while and thought I'd post the first chapter to see how it goes.   
> Little heads-up. Zuko's had a dark life and there's a lot of flashbacks and stuff. There are going to be references to sexual assault but I'll never go into any explicit detail. In general, this should be pretty fluffy and hurt/comfort-y.  
> Enjoy!

**Ulsan, South Korea-November 4th**

There’s so much blood. On the floor, on the walls, somehow there’s a bunch on the ceiling. Zuko keeps his bleeding hand close to his chest and tries not to breathe. The sirens are so loud and Ozai’s voice is booming throughout the house, looking for him.

He won’t check under the sink.

At least Zuko hopes he won’t check under the sink.

Azula is screaming somewhere. There’s a banging on the door. It all hurts his ears. More than the fresh burn on his face hurts.

There’s a loud crash and rapid footsteps flood through the house. Azula starts screaming louder than before and Ozai starts shouting about how they can’t arrest him, do they know who he is, and Zuko whimpers. Someone must have heard everything. He was screaming and crying really loudly. There are more footsteps coming into the house and someone says that the body in the living room is dead.

Zuko already knew that but he still stifles a sob anyway.

“Bon-Hwa. Do you see that?” A man’s voice asks. Zuko curls into a tighter ball and suddenly realizes he’s leaking. His blood and urine streak across the cabinet and drip onto the floor outside. Footsteps approach his cabinet and then the door opens and a man in a uniform peeks in and finds Zuko’s eyes. He’s blurry and parts of him are in black and white and Zuko whimpers and presses himself into the corner.

“Holy shit, there’s a kid in here!” The man shouts over his shoulder.

“Is he alive?” Another voice asks.

“He’s alive. In desperate need of a hospital, but he’s alive,” the man says and holds a hand out. “Come on, bud. Let’s get you to the ER.”

Zuko scoots forward, grimacing at the wet, warm feeling in his pants, and crawls out of the cabinet.

“What’s your name? Are you Ozai’s son?” The man asks. Zuko nods but doesn’t say anything. He keeps his bleeding hand against his chest and holds his own wrist.

“Can you tell me your name?” The man asks again. Zuko doesn’t reply. His throat is sore from crying for help.

And he’s scared.

He stops moving when they get into the living room. He watches the zipper of a black bag close, hiding Zhao’s face from the rest of the world. Zuko’s hips tingle and burn and he whines.

He’s peeing again. He’s terrified and starts crying again. Everything hurts and now he doesn’t know what’s going to happen to him. The warm liquid stings his cuts and the man who lured him out of the cabinet gently picks him up.

“Come on. We gotta get you some help.”

Zuko wants to scream for his mom and buries his face in the man’s shoulder.

He can’t decide if he’s angry or relieved that man found him under the sink.

**Anchorage, Alaska, United States-November 20th**

_ Hi, Hakoda. It’s Nerlaq. Would you be able to stop by my office sometime today? It’s sort of urgent, I might have a child for you to take in if you can. _

“Hey, Mom?” Hakoda calls out. Kanna comes out from behind a wall holding a picture book coated in braille. “Can you watch the little ones for a while? Nerlaq called.”

Kanna’s eyes go wide but she nods. “Of course. Any idea how long you’ll be?”

“No idea,” Hakoda says softly and grabs his keys and wallet. “But there’s a possibility I’m coming home with someone.”

“I’ll make the extra bed in Toph and Suki’s room. Do you want me to tell them?”

“Not yet,” Hakoda says. “I’ll text you if I think you should.”

“Okay. Good luck,” Kanna says and Hakoda hurries out the door. He’s nervous. He’s never gotten a call like that before any of his other babies came into his life. The closest thing to it was Nerlaq warning him that Toph is blind. His heart hammers at the idea of bringing home his last child. He told them he only had room for four foster kids since he already has Sokka and Katara. It’s a little crazy he might be bringing home the last one when Suki’s adoption paperwork just got approved and completed two months ago.

He turns onto the street CSA is on and parks the car. His hands are shaking but he’s had his ‘adoption backpack’ in the trunk for a while. It’s just a string backpack from Bato’s job filled with a stuffed bunny, a big sweatshirt, some chewlery, and fidget toys. Every time he brought a child home, they needed something to do with their hands. He planted a bag in the car after he adopted Aang and replaced it with each adoption. He gets out of the car and heads inside the building. Nerlaq is standing in the waiting room.

“Hakoda, thanks for coming,” he says and reaches a hand out. Hakoda shakes it and Nerlaq leads him back to his office.

There’s a little boy in the corner. His face is bandaged and his right hand is in a brace over more bandages. He’s in a long-sleeved red shirt and dark brown sweatpants and he’s rocking back and forth. There’s a couple of toys on the floor next to him but it’s clear he hasn’t touched them. His eyes are wide, unseeing, and terrified.

“Hakoda, this is Zuko Jin,” Nerlaq says. “Zuko? Can you say hello?”

Zuko stops rocking, looks up at Nerlaq, and shakes his head.

“Zuko, this man might be taking you home,” Nerlaq says. Zuko shakes his head again and buries his face in his knees.

“He doesn’t have to greet me,” Hakoda says. “It’s okay if he’s afraid.”

Nerlaq shrugs and gestures for Hakoda to sit down. “Zuko, can you step outside?”

Zuko doesn’t do anything for a second and then shakily stands up and slips out the door. Hakoda watches him go and then turns back to Nerlaq.

“So, that’s Zuko. He’s nine years old and from Ulsan, Korea. He...um...the police who found him said it was a grizzly scene.”

Hakoda looks back out the door. “What happened?”

“We think his father and sister had some kind of psychotic break. His father confessed to burning the left side of his face and said his daughter stabbed him.”

“His hand?” Hakoda asks. Nerlaq nods.

“And his abdomen and legs. There was another man found dead in the house. Uh, a man named Zhao Hak. We’re not sure how he died, but we’re betting it was Zuko’s sister.”

“Wh-Where is his sister?” Hakoda asks.

“She’s in a youth mental hospital in Seoul. She’s being taken care of there until it’s safe for her to be around others. It’s a well-respected facility, they have horses and stuff.”

“But they’ve been separated?”

Nerlaq sighs. “She stabbed her brother. It’s not safe for them to be around each other.” Hakoda nods to himself. “Listen. I know you’ve taken in some tough kids. But he’s going to be a challenge for anyone to care for. Ozai admitted he’d abused the boy long before what happened two weeks ago. And according to the ER in Ulsan, there was evidence he was raped. Probably by Hak. Not to mention that he won’t talk.”

Hakoda frowns. “Can he? He’s at least able to understand you so he knows English, right?”

“We don’t know for sure, but yes. He’s been able to give us nonverbal responses to things we ask him. He can understand us, he just...won’t talk to us.”

Hakoda looks over his shoulder again. “Of course he won’t talk. He’s scared. Unless...he’s not on the spectrum, is he?”

“We don’t think he is, but again, it’s hard to tell if he won’t talk to us.”

Hakoda doesn’t say anything.

“I understand if you don’t feel like you can-”

“I’ll take him. I’ll bring him home,” Hakoda says. He knew this would be his response the second he saw the little one in the corner.

“O-Okay,” Nerlaq says and stands up. “I’ll bring him back in and get his paperwork for you.” He heads out the door and murmurs that Zuko can come back in. Zuko comes back into the room and immediately curls back up in the corner.

He’s crying. There are tears dripping down his jaw and he’s sniffling. Hakoda stands up and crouches down next to him.

“Hey. I’m Hakoda, I’m going to take you home,” he says softly. Zuko eyes him with his good eye and sniffles again. He’s shaking from head to toe and his braced hand keeps flinching. Hakoda frowns. “Are you in pain?”

Zuko sobs out loud and nods his head. He buries his face in his knees and takes a shuddering inhale. Hakoda reaches for his book bag that he brought in with him and pulls out some Tylenol.

“This is all I have, I’m afraid. I think you can take two,” he says and holds them out. Zuko reaches his other hand out and takes the pills with shaking fingers. Hakoda hands him a cup of water on Nerlaq’s desk. Zuko takes a sip and swallows the pills. Hakoda takes the cup from him and stands up when Nerlaq comes back.

“Here’s his birth certificate and medical records along with a copy of the police report from Korea. It’s translated, don’t worry about that. And our info on him. And here’s the foster paperwork.”

Hakoda takes a pen and signs his name. “Does he have any family?”

“His mother vanished years ago. His Uncle has been gone for a while, as well. We don’t know where they are.”

Hakoda’s heart shatters. Nerlaq takes the papers from him and hands Hakoda a file. Hakoda sends his mother a quick text and then turns to Zuko.

“You ready, baby?” He asks. Zuko whimpers and stands up. Hakoda offers his hand. Zuko eyes him and sniffles again.

“Zuko, are you ready to go?” Nerlaq asks. Zuko whines and he’s trembling again and then there’s a wet patch on the front of his pants and a trickle hits the floor. He’s crying silently, holding his injured hand tightly, and now he’s peeing on the floor. Hakoda steps forward and holds Zuko’s shoulders. 

The little boy shouts like he’s been hit and scampers away and curls into the corner again. Hakoda waits for a moment before stepping towards him again.

“I know you’re scared, sweetie,” he says softly. “You’re in a new country and now a strange man is saying he’s going to bring you home with him.”

Zuko whimpers and watches Hakoda warily. 

“But I promise I’m not going to hurt you. I know you’ve been hurt before. I know your dad really hurt you. But I’m not going to do that. I want to help you. I want to give you a home and take care of you. Everything’s going to be okay. Will you come with me?” Hakoda says softly. Zuko whines again and wipes his eyes. Hakoda tries to ignore the smell of urine and how Nerlaq is cleaning a puddle behind him.

He’s never seen a child this terrified.

It breaks his heart.

He stands up and holds his hand out to Zuko. The boy flinches away from his hand but when it doesn’t move he looks up.

“Will you come with me?” Hakoda asks again. Zuko sniffs and staggers to his feet. He doesn’t take Hakoda’s hand, but he does press his body against Hakoda’s. “Let’s go,” Hakoda murmurs and leads Zuko out of the room. The child stays close to Hakoda through the trip down the hall and to the parking lot. Hakoda thanks his mother’s past judgment and digs in the trunk for a spare pair of sweatpants.

“Do you want to change?” Hakoda asks, holding the pants to Zuko. “You can go in the back and I’ll wait for you to let me in.”

Zuko sniffs and takes the pants with his uninjured hand. Hakoda opens the van door and Zuko slips inside. Hakoda turns his back to the door and waits for a minute.

Then two.

Then he’s worried and looks into the window. Zuko’s old pants and underwear are on the floor but Zuko and the new sweatpants are not visible. Hakoda opens the car door and leans his head inside.

“Zuko?” He asks. There’s a tiny sob from under the seat and a grey leg curls away from Hakoda. “Honey, can you come out?”

“ _ Ani! _ ” a small voice barks. Hakoda’s eyes widen. The boy can speak.

“Honey, I can’t drive unless you’re buckled in. Can you get in the seat?”

Zuko chokes on a sob and crawls out from under the seat. He climbs onto it and buckles up and curls against the door furthest away from Hakoda.

“Thanks, bud. You ready to go?” Hakoda asks. Zuko doesn’t say anything. 

Hakoda just goes to the driver’s seat and starts the car. “I have other children back home. There’s Sokka. He’s your age. Katara is a year younger. They’re both biologically mine. The others are adopted. Aang and Toph are a little younger than you. They’re seven. Suki’s also your age. You’ll have plenty of new friends at home.”

Zuko still doesn’t say anything. He keeps stroking his injured wrist and cries silently. Hakoda watches him in the rearview mirror at a particularly long red light. There are faint teeth marks on the side of the boy’s neck. He remembers what Nerlaq said about how the hospital found evidence of sexual assault on the boy and he grips the steering wheel. He desperately wants to know what happened the day he was found and taken away from his house. He wants to know why they decided to bring him to America. He wants to know what’s going to happen to his sister. But Hakoda stays silent.

The little one is nowhere near ready to tell him all these things.

Hakoda bites his lip and starts driving again. “Are you hungry?” He asks. Zuko perks up a little bit. Hakoda hasn’t missed how emaciated the little boy is. He noticed as soon as he walked into Nerlaq’s office. His hands are bony and his cheeks are sunken in.

Zuko nods and Hakoda sends him a smile. “We’ll get you something once we get home, okay?”

Zuko doesn’t reply, nor give any indication that he heard him. Hakoda pulls into the driveway and cuts the engine. He suddenly feels like he can’t just bring Zuko inside. Meeting all of his children at once would probably make him panic. Zuko unbuckles and then just shakes in his seat.

“Okay, honey, I’ll be right back,” Hakoda says.

“ _ Ani! _ ” Zuko cries out again when Hakoda opens his door. “ _ Nal tteona jima! _ ”

Hakoda stops. He doesn’t understand the words, but he thinks he knows what Zuko’s saying.

“I don’t want to scare you. But I don’t think it’d do you any good to just meet all five kids at once.”

Zuko shakes his head and gets out of the car. He walks over to Hakoda and just waits. He stares down at his feet and doesn’t do anything.

“Do you want to come in now?”

“Hu-Hun-Hungry,” Zuko stammers. Hakoda sighs and tries to put his hand on Zuko’s shoulder. The boy dodges his hand. Hakoda inhales softly. Zuko flinches and keeps stroking the back of his injured hand.

“Okay. Follow me, little one,” Hakoda says. Zuko shivers and walks behind Hakoda as he steps through the front door.

“We didn’t have to do this for anyone else,” Aang complains, crossing his arms over his tiny chest. Gran-Gran smiles at him and pats his bald head.

“This new friend is feeling a little overwhelmed-”

“Over...whelmed?” Toph mutters. Sokka leans forward and shakes her shoulders. 

“Ooh! I know this one! He’s just feeling a lot, right Gran-Gran?” He asks. Gran-Gran nods and then leans down in front of Sokka. He’s basically vibrating with excitement like he always does when someone new comes into the house. But Aang is right. They’ve never been forced to wait in another room of the house while Dad sat with their new sibling while he ate. Sokka caught a glimpse of the boy when Dad came back into the house and spoke with Gran-Gran in hushed tones. He was hiding behind Dad and it looked like he’d been crying. He’s covered in bandages and was cradling a hurt hand to his chest.

None of the others ever arrived beat up.

Dad finally comes into the room and everyone perks up.

“Alright, little ones, listen carefully. We’re going to introduce you all one at a time. He’s scared to death so try to stay calm and we may bring you back in here if he looks uncomfortable. We’re going to start with Katara, okay?”

Aang pouts again. Dad takes Katara’s hand and leads her into the dining room. Sokka desperately wants to follow them and watch but he doesn’t. He tries to listen to the hushed voices. He can only hear Dad and Katara.

A couple of minutes later, Dad returns with Katara and offers his hand to Sokka. Sokka jumps off the couch and follows Dad into the dining room.

The boy’s shaking in his chair. His hair is buzzed almost to his scalp and the whole left side of his face is wrapped in bandages. He’s holding his own braced hand and Sokka gently crawls into the seat next to Dad across from the boy. His eye is red and puffy and he’s sniffling.

“Sokka. This is Zuko. Zuko, this is my son, Sokka,” Dad says softly. Zuko doesn’t say anything. Sokka beams at him and waves. Zuko just stares at him and wipes his nose.

Then he looks at Dad and starts crying harder. “T-Tired,” he whimpers.

Sokka thinks he sounds funny. Other than his voice being muffled from the tears and snot.

Dad cocks his head. “I know, honey. Can you wait until you’ve met the others?”

Zuko digs a fist into his eye and shakes his head. Sokka recoils at how much he’s crying. None of the others cried this much. Suki sniffled a little bit, but none of them  _ cried. _

None of the others were too tired to meet everyone.

Dad glances at the clock and sighs. “I guess it is almost three in the morning for you right now.”

Zuko keeps crying and Sokka stands up and walks over to him. Zuko yelps when Sokka reaches out for him. Sokka doesn’t give up. He rubs Zuko’s shoulder and the other boy stiffens.

“It’s okay. There’s only three more of us,” Sokka says. Dad worries at his lip and then takes Sokka’s hand.

“Can you handle meeting three at once? Then I can take you to bed,” Dad says. Zuko curls into a ball and wails. He says something Sokka doesn’t understand and Dad looks concerned.

“Sokka, can you tell the others we’ll pick this up later?” Dad asks. Sokka rushes out of the room, desperate to get away from the sounds his new sibling is making. He darts back into the living room and Gran-Gran looks panicked.

“What happened, Sokka?” She asks.

“He’s tired,” Sokka mumbles. “Dad said we’ll finish later.”

Aang pouts one more time.

Zuko follows Hakoda up some stairs and lets himself cry harder and harder when his stitches get pulled. His cuts still sting from peeing himself and he just wants to sleep. Hakoda first leads him to a bathroom. Zuko hugs his stomach and the chicken and creamy noodles he ate feel insecure in his belly.

“I know you want to sleep,” Hakoda murmurs. “But you need to wash off after wetting yourself. Do you want a real bath or just to wipe down?”

He’s holding out a baby wipe and Zuko reaches for it. Hakoda smiles at him and steps around him.

“Nerlaq said you have wounds on your legs. Be sure to pay good attention to those, okay?”

Zuko sniffs and pulls his pants down as Hakoda closes the door. He wipes down his crotch and his legs. The soap in the wipe stings his cuts. He whimpers and throws the wipe into a tiny trash can. The bathroom is big. Bigger than the one back home.

If he can call it home. There’s a cubby on the far wall with little name tags on the squares.

One says ‘Dad.’

Another says ‘Aang.’

‘Suki.’

‘Katara.’

‘Toph.’

‘Sokka.’

‘Bato.’

Zuko runs his fingers over the little tags. They’re cute. Each of them is decorated and color-coded. The squares that surround the tagged cubbies are each filled with towels and bars of Dove soap.

There’s a blank cubby next to Suki’s. Zuko drops his hand and sniffs.

Is that one going to be his?

For however long this man wants to keep him?

He likes Hakoda. He’s quiet and calm and gentle. He reminds Zuko of his mom. The last person who ever showed him any kindness.

Zuko winces as his hips start burning again like someone’s grabbing them. Bruising them.

He really hopes Hakoda doesn’t want to do...whatever Zhao and Father did to him back there. It hurt. It still hurts sometimes. He doesn’t know what it was. All he knows is that he hated it.

There’s a knock on the door and Zuko pulls his pants back up. “Zuko?” Hakoda asks. Zuko shuffles over to the door, suddenly beyond exhausted, and paws open the door.

Hakoda smiles sadly at him and holds a hand out. “Ready to take a nap?”

Zuko nods and follows Hakoda into a large room with three beds against three out of the four walls. Two of them have deep green sheets messily made on the bed and stuffed animals all over the floor. The other one’s by the window and made with white and peach sheets and blankets. There’s a stuffed bunny sitting on the pillows and Zuko looks up at Hakoda. The man nods at the bed.

“That’s yours, Zuko.”

Zuko steps over to the bed and crawls under the sheets and comforter. They’re so soft. They don’t make his ribs hurt like the scratchy, thin carpet did. He holds the bunny to his chest and lets Hakoda pull the comforter up to his jaw.

“I’ll wake you up in a couple of hours, okay?” Hakoda says. Zuko nods and lets his eyes fall shut.

He’s so tired he doesn’t even dream.

At first.

Then he’s watching the kitchen knife dig into his pinned-down hand while Azula cackles above him. There’s a river of blood seeping out of his hand and he’s screaming and crying and there’s something pounding into his tailbone. Part of him is screaming just so he doesn’t have to hear the sounds of his flesh slicing and skin slapping skin behind him. Or the sound of his blood and skin falling off his face and onto the floor. Or the sound of Ozai thundering through the house, looking for something, anything, that he could use to whip him. He can’t even remember what led to this. At first, everything was tense but fine and then they all just...descended on him. Well, at least Zhao and Ozai did. Something was going on upstairs with Azula.

Zuko wakes up screaming and scrambles out of bed and he pounds on the door with his fists. He cries out again and holds his bandaged hand and curls into a screaming ball. He feels like he’s on fire again. His whole body hurts and he’s so tired he just wants to sleep and then the door flies open and a soft, plump body wraps him up in their arms.

He struggles for a second but then there’s a female voice whispering to him.

“It’s okay,” she murmurs. “Everything’s alright. You’re safe. It’s just a nightmare.”

Zuko struggles in the woman’s arms and eventually wiggles his way out and darts into the closet across from him.

He hates this. He’s so tired and so scared and he doesn’t want to meet three more little kids who are just going to study him while he tries not to cry too much.

He wants his mom.

He wants to not be.

He kind of wishes he was never found and he was just left alone in Korea. And he hates that he thinks that. He should be grateful. He should be happy Hakoda took him in.

_ “Is anyone even going to want him?” Amy asks. “He can barely speak, pees when he’s scared, and has more trauma than I think anyone knows how to deal with. Is he even going to get fostered?” _

_ “Just let me try Hakoda,” Nerlaq says. “If it doesn’t work, we can hand him over to the state.” _

There’s a creak and then the little girl he met earlier, Katara, comes into view. She kneels down across from him.

“Are you scared of Gran-Gran?” She asks softly. Zuko shakes his head. He’s not afraid of an old woman. But he is afraid of people grabbing him when he still isn’t convinced that everyone who touches him doesn’t want to hit him or burn him.

“Bad…” he can’t remember the English word for it. “Bad...sleep movie,” he whispers instead. It’s getting harder to gather his thoughts in English. When he’s scared, he reverts back to Korean. It’s safe. It’s easy.

Katara frowns for a second. Then she giggles. “‘Sleep movie.’ I like that. You had a nightmare?” She asks.

Zuko nods. He remembers that word now.

“Aang got those sometimes, too. Do you want me to help you sleep?” Katara asks.

“How?” Zuko mumbles. Katara holds her hand out. Zuko doesn’t take it, but he crawls out of the closet. Katara holds his sleeve and brings him back downstairs. Zuko catches a glimpse of a bald boy playing with a brown-haired girl he hasn’t met yet but Katara brings him to a room cut off from the rest of the house. There’s a black couch covered in fleece blankets and stuffed animals. A TV is across from it, sitting on a sleek brown table with DVDs stacked beneath it. Katara goes over to the stack of DVDs and Zuko stands by the couch, shaking and trying to stop crying. Katara picks up a DVD and puts it into a slot inside the TV. She grabs a remote, sits on the couch, and pats the spot next to her. Zuko curls up in a ball next to her and watches the screen light up with a movie menu called  _ Inside Out  _ and Katara goes to the language settings.

“What language do you want?” She asks. Zuko scans the list and then perks up when he sees Korean.

“ _ Hangug-eo _ ,” Zuko points at the word on the screen. Katara furrows her brow. Zuko stands up and points on the screen.

“Oh, okay,” Katara says and clicks on it. Then she puts English subtitles on for herself.

The movie starts to play and Zuko almost instantly feels his eyelids get heavy when he hears a woman speaking gently in Korean.

She sounds like his mom.

His mom is gone forever, but whoever is speaking sounds a lot like her.

He shuts his eyes. Sighs. He lets a woman talking about joy and a girl named Riley lull him off to sleep.

He doesn’t have another nightmare.

He feels Katara’s hand on his ankle and he drifts off to dreamland.

Kanna walks into the TV room. Katara looks up at her and smiles.  _ Inside Out  _ is playing in another language with English subtitles on. Zuko’s sound asleep next to her granddaughter. Hakoda rushes in behind her. Kanna glances over at him and grins.

“We’ll wake him up in a bit.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara almost wants to tell Dad not to wake up the sleeping boy next to him. She heard him scream before she went to get him. He sounded so scared. So scared and he looked so tired when she saw him huddled up in the closet. He looks tired right now. There are dark, dark bags under his eyes. He’s so pale and all of his bones seem to be poking out of his skin. Or trying to. Katara’s never seen a child look so...sick. She knows he isn’t, but he looks like he might keel over at any second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little TW for descriptions of injuries, child abuse, and the effects of starvation but in general, this is fluffy.

**Ulsan, South Korea-August 15th, 2018**

Zuko’s not supposed to know what day it is. But he knows it’s his birthday. Mama used to bring him a cookie or something after Dad had gone to bed.

But now Mama’s gone. Mama’s gone and he’s hungry and sweating in the too hot hallway. Only the bedrooms have air conditioning right now. Dad said he was going to call someone to fix it but since only Zuko spends a lot of time in the living room and hallway it’s not high on Ozai’s list of priorities. 

His stomach growls and he presses his hand down on his bubbling belly. If Dad hears his stomach grumble, he’ll be mad. Dad hasn’t let him eat in three days and Zuko’s not allowed in the kitchen. Zuko lets his head fall against the wall and he breathes heavily. It’s so hot. There’s a giant heatwave coming through the whole country and it's noon. It’s like being in an oven.

Oven. Kitchen. Fridge. Cool. Food.

He’s so hungry.

He’s too weak to stand, but he crawls over to Ozai’s door and lifts a tiny, bony hand. He knocks twice, waits, then flinches when the door flies open.

“What do you want?” Ozai snarls. Zuko doesn’t dare look up.

“I-I’m hungry,” Zuko whispers. “Can...Can I please have something?” Ozai crouches down and grips Zuko’s chin. He pulls his head up to look him in the eye and Zuko whimpers under his breath.

“Do you know how long the human body can go without food, Zuko?”

Zuko shakes his head.

“Technically, you could last months. But a little thing like you? Maybe eight days. Perhaps more. And you’re complaining after only three days?”

Zuko starts shaking. “I-I didn’t eat all last week, Dad. Please-”

Ozai lets his chin go and the back of his hand whips across Zuko’s face. He falls against the wall and his eyes start watering. Ozai steps over Zuko’s body and disappears down the hall. Some of the cold air from his room blows onto Zuko’s face. He sighs, finally having half a second of relief from all the heat. He had been stripping his clothes off throughout the day as it got hotter and hotter. He’s only in his underwear now and the cold air has never felt more soothing.

Ozai returns and drops a bowl of tofu coated in gochujang by his feet. A fork follows the bowl.

“Eat, you ungrateful shit,” Ozai snaps and then goes back into his room. Zuko barely hears the door close. He grabs the fork and shovels the first bite of tofu into his mouth. The spice explodes in his mouth and he chews slowly so the block of almost nothing can last longer.

**Anchorage, Alaska, United States-November 20th, present day**

Katara almost wants to tell Dad not to wake up the sleeping boy next to him. She heard him scream before she went to get him. He sounded so scared. So scared and he looked so tired when she saw him huddled up in the closet. He looks tired right now. There are dark, dark bags under his eyes. He’s so pale and all of his bones seem to be poking out of his skin. Or trying to. Katara’s never seen a child look so...sick. She knows he isn’t, but he looks like he might keel over at any second.

Dad puts his hand on Zuko’s arm and gives it a tiny shake. That’s enough to make the boy shout and reach his injured hand out and try to grip Dad’s. He yelps again when his hand twitches and he holds it against his chest. Tears spring back into his eyes. Katara pokes his bony ankle and he whips around to look at her.

“It’s okay. I think it’s just dinner time.”

Zuko whimpers. “I...I’ll...go,” he murmurs. Dad frowns. 

“Go where? Are you not hungry?”

“Not...allowed,” Zuko whispers. Katara stands up, ignoring how much her stomach is churning at those words. 

Dad doesn’t question what Zuko said. Katara wants him to. She wants to know what ‘Not allowed’ means. “Yes, you are, Zuko. You’re allowed to have dinner with us. Do you want to come sit at the table?”

Zuko sniffs and nods. Katara offers her hand. Zuko takes it and she leads him through the house into the dining room. Aang beams at her when she walks in, their new brother trailing behind her but she shakes her head. She tries to tell him telepathically not to stress Zuko out. She doesn’t think it works, but Aang does sit back down and keeps the bouncing with excitement to a minimum. Toph doesn’t react, obviously, and Suki manages to stay quiet.

“Daddy?” Katara asks when Dad comes back into the room with a pot of soup. “Where should Zuko sit?”

Zuko whimpers and grips Katara’s sleeve. Hakoda smiles. “I think he’d like to stay with you. Do you wanna sit with Katara?”

Zuko nods and holds her arm a little tighter. Katara feels a little triumphant that she already won over her new brother. She heads to the end of the table and sits down. Zuko trembles into the seat next to her, but doesn’t let go of her sleeve. Katara can feel him shaking through the fabric.

He’s scared again.

“Is our new brother here?” Toph asks on Katara’s other side.

“He’s here,” Dad says and then Bato walks in.

“Sorry I’m late,” he says. He kisses Dad on the head and then sits down at the other end of the table. Next to Zuko. He does a good job at acting like nothing is new and exciting. Dad probably warned him.

But Zuko looks ready to lose it.

Bato sticks his hand out for Zuko to shake. He introduces himself and Katara watches Zuko just...shut down. He’s crying steadily again.

“That’s just Bato,” Suki says. “He’s our other dad.” This doesn’t soothe Zuko at all. He’s shaking, crying, and clenching his fist in front of his private parts.

“Zuko?” Gran-Gran asks. “Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

“Not allowed!” Zuko screams and buries the heels of his hands in his eyes. Dad stands up and gently pries his hands away from his face.

“Yes. You’re allowed. Do you want me to take you there?” He asks. Zuko wails in fear and Katara winces. He’s so scared. He’s so scared and it hurts her so much.

Dad picks the boy up and carries him upstairs. Zuko’s hugging Dad in a white-knuckle grip, his face is buried in Dad’s shoulder and he’s crying so hard it makes his whole body tremble.

Katara looks away and Bato gulps. “You weren’t kidding,” he says to Gran-Gran. “He’s scared to death.”

Gran-Gran nods solemnly. “We all need to be careful around him. His last family wasn’t very nice to him so this is all very new and scary to him.”

“Why were they mean to him?” Toph asks, her milky eyes staring straight ahead. Toph’s parents weren’t very nice to her either. They didn’t want to raise a blind child so they gave her up when she was little. She says she doesn’t remember a lot of it, but Katara isn’t sure. She gets angry anytime someone brings up that she’s blind.

“He was raised by a bad man, Toph,” Gran-Gran says. “Maybe when you’re all older, he’ll tell you his story.”

Katara squirms a little in her seat. None of the others had  _ bad  _ parents. They all had stories, but Toph and Aang didn’t hold theirs back. Suki hasn’t told her’s yet, but she looks just as awkward and worried as Katara feels.

After a few more minutes, Dad comes back down with Zuko trailing behind him. Zuko takes his seat next to Katara and Bato hands him a bowl of soup.

“Everything okay?” Gran-Gran asks Zuko. Zuko doesn’t reply. He just picks up a spoon and starts sipping.

“I’ll tell you later, Mom,” Dad says and takes a sip. “Could the three of you who didn’t get a little meeting with your brother introduce yourselves. Calmly,” he says looking at Aang. Aang sticks the tip of his tongue out.

“I’m Suki,” Suki says with a little wave. Zuko just watches her but nods a little bit. Suki beams at him and a tiny smile tugs on the corner of Zuko’s lips.

“I’m Toph,” Toph says. “I’d look at you, but I’m blind.”

“Bl-Blind?” Zuko asks. He looks at Dad like he’s confused. Dad taps the corner of his eye.

“She can’t see,” Dad says. Zuko’s eyes widen and he takes another sip.

“I can still kick your butt,” Toph says. Zuko coughs into his spoon and Katara sees a tiny smile that he tries to hide in his fist.

“And I’m Aang,” Aang says, waving. Zuko waves a little bit and then goes back to sipping his soup. Katara gives him a tiny nudge but he doesn’t really react. His breathing is heavy and slow again. He’s probably exhausted again.

Hakoda picks up some of the dishes to bring back into the kitchen and grimaces when he sees how much is left in Zuko’s bowl. Zuko’s shaking again and won’t meet Hakoda’s eyes.

“Can you take another couple of bites?” Hakoda asks softly. Zuko shakes his head. He wraps his arms around his middle.

“Full,” he mumbles. “Full...and...hurts.”

“Okay,” Hakoda says gently and takes his plate away. Kanna takes his place next to Zuko as he walks into the kitchen. He pours Zuko’s soup into the Tupperware with the rest of the meal and sighs. The poor boy’s so emaciated that he could barely eat a third of a bowl of soup. Bato comes into the kitchen to start washing some dishes.

“Can we go through his file tonight?” He asks. Hakoda nods. He hasn’t looked at the whole thing yet. He’s been too scared. He knows it’s going to be horrible to read.

Kanna comes in with Zuko behind her. She digs in a cabinet until she finds some orange powder that’s supposed to help with stomach aches. She mixes it in some water and hands it to Zuko. The little boy takes a suspicious sip but then his eyes brighten.

“Orange,” he says.

Kanna smiles and tries to touch his head. He moves away from her hand and keeps drinking. “Do you like oranges?” She asks as she lets her hand fall.

Zuko nods and finishes the glass. His injured hand is still braced against his stomach but he hands the glass back to Kanna.

“Zuko!” Sokka calls, running into the kitchen. Zuko jumps and presses close to Hakoda. “Come watch our shows with us.”

“Not...allowed,” Zuko murmurs. Hakoda crouches down and holds Zuko’s shoulders.

“You’re allowed. You’re allowed in every room in this house. You’re allowed to watch TV. You’re allowed to use the bathrooms. You’re allowed.”

Sokka tugs on Zuko’s sleeve playfully. Hakoda steps away and lets Zuko head off to the TV room with Sokka. Hakoda takes a deep breath and Bato comes over to rub his arm.

“He’s going to be just fine.”

Zuko crawls up onto the couch to press himself close to Katara. She smiles at him before turning back to watch the animated animal/humans on the screen. Zuko likes her. She’s a lot like Hakoda. Calm, gentle, and kind. The others have so much energy that he can’t match but she’s calm enough that he doesn’t feel too inadequate.

“Have you ever seen  _ Arthur  _ before?” Toph asks from Zuko’s other side. 

“N-No,” Zuko murmurs and hugs his bandaged hand to his chest. Toph elbows him gently, snickering. 

“Me neither,” she says and grins at him. Aang snorts from the floor and then Zuko remembers she’s blind.

He giggles. He actually giggles for the first time in years. He doesn’t process all the stunned looks he gets from the others.

“See, Sokka!” Toph exclaims and throws a pillow at him. “I told you my blind jokes are funny.”

“Zuko’s just not used to them yet,” Sokka grumbles. 

Zuko wipes his eyes and watches the characters on the TV. They’re talking a little too fast for him to completely understand, but he likes the art style and the colors. He likes the voices and he likes that he’s older than most of the characters.

They watch for a while before Hakoda comes in and leans against the doorframe. “I distinctly remember that a couple of you have homework to finish up.”

Aang and Sokka groan. They stand up and shuffle out of the room and up the stairs. Zuko sits up straight and before Hakoda can leave, he gasps out “School?”

Hakoda looks confused. Zuko points at himself and starts shaking again. “School?” He asks. 

Hakoda comes into the room and kneels down in front of Zuko. “I was going to wait until after winter break to enroll you at the same school the others go to. I wanted to give you enough time to settle in a little more before getting into a new environment. Does that sound okay?”

Zuko nods and huddles against Katara again. He misses going to school. Ozai took him out a year ago and then he was stuck with Zhao as a tutor. He didn’t have any friends, but he liked being around the other kids. He liked the kind teachers. He even kind of liked the homework each night. It was just something to do that would keep Ozai off his back for a couple of hours.

Zhao didn’t really give him homework. And he didn’t let him draw or do any kind of art with him. It was strictly math, science, literature, and English. He liked literature, but not enough to make working with Zhao any more pleasant. Nothing could make getting slapped when he got a wrong answer and having insults hurled at him the entire time pleasant.

“Our school’s nice,” Suki says from the floor. “Plus you might get to be in my homeroom. Or Sokka’s.”

Zuko doesn’t say anything. He’s struggling to keep his eyes open and then Hakoda comes back into the room. 

“Hey, little ones. It’s nine. Time for bed.”

Suki grumbles but stands up and heads upstairs. Toph, Katara, and Zuko get up and follow her. 

The bathroom is a little hectic. As soon as Zuko’s by the door, Sokka tugs him in saying, “Boys first today.”

Bato’s standing in the corner with a red caddy in his hands and sets it in the empty cubby next to Suki’s. “Here’s all your stuff, Zuko. Tomorrow we can make you a little name tag while the others are at school. But this is all yours, okay?”

Zuko reaches into the caddy and pulls out a blue toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste. “Mine?”

“Yours,” Bato says and winks. Zuko stares, dumbfounded, at the little brush in his hands. Ozai only let him use mouthwash and he wasn’t allowed in the bathroom. He doesn’t admit that he’s almost forgotten how to use a toothbrush. He just watches what Aang does and mimics him. Bato then shows him how to wash his face and floss before letting them all out of the bathroom. Zuko heads into the room Hakoda brought him to earlier and sits with his knees against his chest. Bato follows him in and sets a pair of plaid, soft-looking pants on the foot of his bed. Then a grey sweatshirt.

“I wasn’t sure if you had any pajamas, but these will keep you nice and warm. It can get kind of chilly at night here.”

Zuko looks out the window instead of replying. He doesn’t mind the cold that much. He likes the snow. But he can see something he hadn’t noticed before. The last time he was in this room he was too tired and scared to notice the view out the window.

“ _ San!” _ He says and points against the glass. He can’t remember the word in English, but it’s huge and covered in snow. Bato looks at what he’s pointing at and nods.

“Yeah, we’ve got a nice view of the mountain here.”

“Mountain,” Zuko whispers. He likes that word. He draws the characters for the word in Korean on the frosty window. “Looks like a mountain.”

Bato studies his drawing for a second. Then laughs. “It does, huh. What’s the Korean word for it again?  _ San?” _

Zuko nods. He decides he likes Bato. He got to teach him a little something. Bato reaches out and Zuko lets him ruffle his hair.

“I’ll head out so you can change, okay? But Hakoda and I will be back to tell you goodnight.”

Zuko picks up the clothes and quickly changes out of his day clothes and into the soft pajamas. Then he presses his hand against the window and stares at the mountain. There weren’t any big mountains in Ulsan. It was right by the coast so sometimes he could see the ocean. But he’s never really seen a mountain. The door opens behind him and Toph and Suki come in. 

Suki smiles at him. “You like the mountain?”

“Mountain,” Zuko nods. Toph climbs into bed and folds her arms behind her head. 

“Yeah, I’ve always thought it looks really cool.”

Zuko snorts and Suki sighs. “Not two in one day, Toph.”

“You just can’t handle how funny I am.”

“Nope, that’s definitely not it.”

“They are funny,” Zuko says. Toph hums triumphantly. 

“Told you.”

“Hey, hey,” Hakoda’s voice whispers. “You guys ready to sleep?” He and Bato come into the room. Hakoda heads over to Suki and Bato goes to Toph.

“Yes, Dad,” Suki chirps and pulls the covers up to her chin. Hakoda leans over her and gives her a little kiss on the head.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he murmurs and then switches with Bato. Zuko pulls the covers over his mouth and waits. He’s not sure if he’s ready for this. He hasn’t had this kind of affection since Mama vanished.

“Goodnight, Zuko,” Hakoda says and strokes Zuko’s hair. “I won’t give you a head kiss if you don’t want me to.”

“Not yet,” Zuko whispers.

“Understandable,” Hakoda says and steps away. Bato ruffles his hair again and Zuko hums.

“Goodnight, honey. Come and get us if you have a bad dream or need something, okay?”

“And you’re allowed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night,” Hakoda adds. “Don’t worry about waking any of us up. Just go use it if you have to.”

“Okay,” Zuko murmurs, and then both men turn and leave. The door clicks shut behind them and Zuko rolls onto his side.

Snow’s falling.

He watches the snowflakes as his eyelids get heavy.

He made it through his first day here.

He already kind of misses Katara but he shuts his eyes and tries to fall asleep.

This time, there are no nightmares.

Bato peels his shirt off and sits down beside Hakoda. The file is on the comforter between them and neither of them moves to open it.

“It’s going to be bad,” Hakoda mumbles.

“The others weren’t great either,” he reminds him. They both grimace, remembering some of the stuff that was in Toph’s file. Aang’s file.

Parents claiming they gave birth to devil spawn because their daughter couldn’t see.

Parents dying in refugee camps and their son getting on a plane to the States alone.

Bato watches Hakoda lift the cover of the file. The Korean police report is on top. There are pictures paper clipped to the front page. Bato reaches over and takes the photos.

The first one is of a living room. There’s a massive patch of blood on the rug and splatterings all over the wall. Some are on the ceiling. There’s a trail leading from the living room to the kitchen next to it.

The next photo is a bloody knife. Just a kitchen knife. But the tip is chipped. Bato shivers. He doesn’t want to think about how hard you’d have to stab someone to chip the tip of a knife.

The next photo is of Ozai Jin. His hair is long and dark and well past his shoulders. He’s handsome, in a frightening sort of way. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks angry. There’s some blood on his face and on his white dress shirt.

The next photo is of a little girl. In the bottom left corner is the name ‘Azula’ written in sharpie.

“Zuko’s sister,” Hakoda clarifies. “She’s at a mental hospital in Seoul.”

“Jesus,” Bato murmurs.

Her face is covered in blood. Her eyes are wild and her hair is choppy and messily done in a bun. Bato’s heart clenches when he reads what’s written in pen on the back. She’s only eight years old. She’s eight years old and had a psychotic break.

The next photo is of Zuko and Bato wants to throw up. His face isn’t bandaged yet. The burned skin is bright red and dripping blood and pus down his face. His ear is mangled and twisted. His eye is white and swollen and Bato winces. He knows that the eye is now useless. His other eye is wide and scared and red from crying.

There are more photos of him. Photos of his rail-thin arms and his prominent ribs. Photos of his sunken chest and, God, Bato can almost see his heart. Photos of his protruding hip bones and stick-like legs. There’s more written on the back. Korean characters translated to English.

Zuko’s height. 130 cm. Around four feet.

His weight. 38 lbs.

Bato feels sick.

“Baby,” Hakoda says suddenly. “Take a look at this.”

Bato leans over and sees Zuko’s immunization records. “What is it?”

“He hasn’t been to the doctor since he was seven,” Hakoda says. Bato wants to gag. “He’s behind on a couple of his vaccines.”

“I can call Dr. Pakku tomorrow. See if he can squeeze us in soon.”

Hakoda nods and glances at the photos Bato was looking at. “He’s massively underweight.”

“I’m aware. But he can barely eat.”

“His stomach probably shrunk,” Hakoda murmurs. “It’s going to take a while for him to eat more.”

“I’ll get the vitamins out tomorrow morning,” Bato says and stretches. “They all probably need them at least a little bit.”

“I can pick up some nutriboost,” Hakoda muses. “Maybe drinking that will help him, too.”

They’re quiet for a minute.

“Are we in over our heads?” Hakoda asks. Bato lays down and turns the lamp off on his bedside table.

“Maybe a little. But that’s never stopped us before.”

Hakoda chuckles and turns his lamp off. “We’ll take it day by day.”

“Day by day.”

Zuko could have slept for days but he wakes up when he hears Suki and Toph rummaging around the room. Zuko looks out the window and still sees stars out.

“Morning?” He asks. Suki looks up and nods.

“We have school. You can go back to sleep if you want.”

Zuko doesn’t want to sleep in this room all alone. Part of him thinks he was only able to sleep well last night because there were two other people in the room. Keeping him safe. Being alone makes him vulnerable. Being asleep makes him vulnerable.

Zuko shakes his head and pushes the covers off him. He shivers against the morning chill and stands up on shaking legs.

All the others are going to be gone all day. He’s going to be alone with Hakoda again. He likes Hakoda, but something about having the others in the house is comforting.

“Do you need to use the bathroom?” Suki asks. Zuko thinks for a second and then nods. “Go ahead. If someone’s using the upstairs one you can go downstairs.”

Zuko shuffles out of the room and turns down the hall. The bathroom door is open and he slips inside before anyone else can beat him to it.

He pees quickly, cleans up, and then brushes his teeth. He liked the minty flavor and clean feeling the paste left in his mouth last night.

There’s a knock on the door and Aang asks if he can come in. Zuko turns the water off and darts out of the bathroom and down the stairs.

Aang scares him. He doesn’t understand how a small kid can hold so much energy.

They all make their way to the table and have some cereal. Zuko can only manage about five bites before his stomach starts hurting. Bato comes to take his bowl but he places three gummies on the table by his hand.

“Vitamins,” Bato says. “They’ll help you get healthy again.”

“Full,” Zuko whispers and tries to push them back. Bato places them in his good hand.

“I know. Just three bites. That’s all I’m asking of you. You have to take these.”

Zuko whines and feels stinging heat build behind his eye. He sniffs and picks up one of the gummies. It looks like a strawberry. He pokes it into his mouth and chews, grimaces, and then swallows.

“Good job, honey,” Bato says softly. “Just two more.”

Zuko manages to keep the three gummies down and then Bato ruffles his hair. “Well done. Do you want to go back to bed?”

Zuko shakes his head and something in the next room catches his eye. There’s a stack of white paper and a box of colored pencils.

“Nametag,” Zuko says and points at the paper. Bato follows his finger. Then he grins.

“You want to make your name tag?”

Zuko nods and follows Bato into the room. He misses coloring. Mama used to hand him things she drew for him to color in before she left. He used to color at his desk at school.

Bato takes the box out and hands him a strip of paper the same size as the other name tags. Then he thinks for a moment before setting a whole stack of paper in front of Zuko.

“Color your heart out, little one. I have to make a phone call but I’ll be right back.”

“Sure, I can fit him in tomorrow. Can you come around noon?” Pakku says through the phone.

“Yes, that works perfectly,” Bato says and writes it down on the calendar in the kitchen. “See you then.”

Pakku hangs up and then there’s a rush of small footsteps and Zuko stands shyly at the threshold.

“What is it?” Bato asks.

Zuko doesn’t say anything but he holds out his palm. His name tag is in his Korean characters with a blue dragon flying behind the letters.

“Nametag,” Zuko whispers after a second. Bato grins.

“Let’s go put it up, yeah?” Zuko nods and lets Bato lead him to the upstairs bathroom. Bato finds the roll of tape and makes three little balls of tape and places them on the cubby next to Suki’s. Zuko comes forward and sticks the strip of paper on the tape.

“Perfect,” Bato says. Zuko smiles a little, then yawns. Bato chuckles. “Come on, let’s get you back to bed.”

Zuko holds his arms up. Bato smiles softly. He knows that gesture. He picks the little boy up and carries him back to his bed.

“Sleep well, darling. Sweet dreams.”

Zuko doesn’t hear him. He’s already snoring softly. Bato turns away and shuts the door.

He’s already so attached.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hakoda takes Zuko to the doctor, Suki wants to be her brother's friend, and mac and cheese is a delicacy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Itty bitty TW for descriptions of wounds and Zuko's scar. Otherwise enjoy atla babies.

**Ulsan, South Korea- December 8th, 2019**

The news anchor’s voice from the living room says that it’s going to be unseasonably cold for the next week. The high will be around negative three degrees celsius and the low for tonight is going to be around negative seventeen.

“Bundle up and stay inside, Ulsan. Goodnight,” the woman says. Zuko lifts a heavy head to look up at Ozai from the stairs. Ozai glances at him from the couch Zuko’s not allowed on and scoffs.

“What?”

“C-Can...Can I use the bathroom? Please? It’s s-so col-cold and I...I don’t feel good,” Zuko murmurs. His stomach is churning. His head is pounding. It feels like someone’s latched hooks under his cheekbones and they’re trying to pull them out of his skull. He’s freezing cold but everything around him feels so hot.

Ozai fumes at him for a second. Zuko coughs wetly and deeply, curling in on himself. Azula comes down the stairs, laughs, and kicks his forehead.

“Disgusting, Zu-Zu,” she comments and bounds over to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry,” Zuko wheezes. He looks at Ozai again. “Please. Please don’t make me go outside.”

“Can’t handle the cold, Zu-Zu?” Azula taunts.

“I’m sick,” he pleads to Ozai, ignoring Azula. Then he feels the bottom of his stomach go light and twitchy and something’s ready to slide up his throat. Zuko covers his mouth with his hand and darts up to the small tin trash can that’s normally just for tissues beside the couch. He gags and his abdomen clenches and he vomits the watery contents of his stomach into the bin. It stops for barely enough time for Zuko to catch his breath before he’s vomiting again. Sour bile slips along his tongue and he collapses on the floor. His whole body is sweaty and cold and he shivers so hard it bows his back.

He hasn’t been sick like this before. He’s not even sure how he caught whatever this is. Something in the back of his head whispers that if Dad throws him outside or makes him go out there to throw up, he might die. He might collapse and not be able to get up again and he’d just freeze to death in the backyard.

Ozai stands up and Azula snickers in the kitchen. “Looks like you don’t need a bathroom, dumbass. You can throw up in a trash can. In a room you’re allowed in.”

Ozai steps over him and goes to the stairs, Azula on his heels. “Don’t come upstairs. We don’t want to hear you vomit,” he adds.

Zuko lets out a tiny sob and then he’s leaning back over the trash can. There’s nothing left in his stomach but he keeps heaving. Saliva drips from his lips and into the mushy puddle in the bin. He collapses again. He pulls his knees to his chest and pulls his sweater over his legs so just his toes stick out.

He’s freezing. But he’s not allowed to touch the throw blanket on the couch.

Or the pillows.

He just curls up on the floor in a ball and distantly wishes he was thrown outside to freeze to death.

**Anchorage, Alaska, United State- present day**

Zuko fiddles with some of the toys set out for small children at the doctor’s office. Hakoda told him he needed to get some ‘shots’ but he’s not sure what that means. He’s trying to remember what kind of shots require going to a doctor and he’s drawing a blank. Some of the smaller kids in the waiting room are staring at him. He’s painfully aware that he’s injured. He wants to lash out when one little boy whispers to his mother.

“Mommy, what happened to that boy’s face?” Zuko glances at the boy and the mother sends him a sad look. She mouths something but without the spoken words, Zuko can’t understand. He just redirects his attention to spinning a red bead around a wire track. He feels Hakoda’s hand on his shoulder and he pulls away.

For some reason, everyone’s touch feels like fire today.

Even Katara’s.

“Zuko?” A woman’s voice asks. An elderly woman holding a clipboard appears from the hallway. Zuko stands up and stays close to Hakoda. They walk over to the woman and follow her into the hall. “How are you two doing today?”

“We’re alright,” Hakoda says. “I’m his guardian, Hakoda.”

“I’m Yugoda, I’ll be your nurse today,” the woman says. They stop at a wall with a ruler on it and a scale. Yugoda smiles at Zuko. “Sweetie, can you take your shoes off so I can weigh and measure you?”

Zuko looks up at Hakoda. He holds onto his arm to take his shoes off and he shuffles onto the scale.

It beeps the number forty-five at him and he frowns. He doesn’t know what ‘lbs’ means.

_ Limbs?  _ He thinks to himself and shakes his head. He doesn’t have forty-five limbs. Even a scale would know that. Yugoda and Hakoda are speaking in hushed voices and Zuko starts shaking.

Yugoda looks horrified.

“Bad?” Zuko asks. Yugoda looks up from her clipboard and smiles.

“Nothing’s wrong, sweetie. I just had to ask your guardian something.” Zuko’s unconvinced. “Can you come over here so I can measure you?”

Zuko stands against the wall and a paddle thing comes down to touch his head. Yugoda hums and writes down something on her clipboard.

“You’re about average height, which is good,” she says and smiles. Hakoda helps Zuko put his shoes back on before Yugoda leads them down the hall to a room with a blue bed with thin paper over it.

“Zuko, honey, can you take a seat on the bed?” Yugoda asks. Zuko climbs up on it and waits for Yugoda to come over with some tools. “Okay, I’m going to listen to your heart, just breathe normally for me.”

Yugoda puts her hand on Zuko’s back and he flinches away. Her touch makes his skin crawl. “No,” he murmurs before he can stop himself. Yugoda recoils.

“I’m not going to hurt you, honey. I’ll try not to touch you as much as possible but given the reason you’re here I’m going to have to-”

“No!” Zuko cries out. His skin is tingling and every brush of someone else’s fingers make pictures of his father flash before his eyes. Makes his chest and stomach and face ache in pain.

Yugoda sighs. Hakoda’s face is coated in horror and Zuko wants to curl up in the corner and disappear.

“Okay. I won’t touch you. You’re allowed to tell me ‘no.’”

Just the metal circle Yugoda’s holding lands on his chest. It doesn’t feel good, even through his sweatshirt, but it’s better than hands and fingers.

“A little on the slower side,” Yugoda says, more to Hakoda than to Zuko. “But given how little he weighs, I’m not surprised. It’s not so slow that I’m concerned about it. He’s probably just still in starvation mode so his body’s trying to conserve energy.”

Hakoda nods to himself. Yugoda looks in Zuko’s ears, nose, and mouth with a triangle with a light on it. She bumps his knees with a giraffe hammer and wraps his arm in a thing that squeezes so tightly it reminds him of Ozai and he has to shut his eyes.

“His blood pressure’s also a little off, but again, tracks with his weight and being in starvation mode,” Yugoda says to Hakoda. Then she goes to the little tray she brought in with her and starts playing with a syringe and a needle.

Three syringes and needles.

“What is that?” Zuko asks, suddenly nervous.

“Honey, do you know what a vaccine is?” Yugoda asks. Zuko shakes his head, glancing between Hakoda and Yugoda frantically. “It’s just medicine to protect you from getting sick from some really bad bugs. Your birth father was supposed to bring you in for some important ones when you were five, but he didn’t. You get some when you’re born but eventually, you have to get more.”

“Needle?” Zuko asks. Yugoda turns around, holding the syringe gently. 

“I do have to poke you a little bit so the medicine can get in your body. It doesn’t hurt too much. It’s just a little pinch.”

Zuko whimpers. His body’s shaking again and his bladder is threatening to spasm again. He presses his fists into his crotch and starts rocking back and forth.

“Zuko? Do you need to go to the bathroom?” Hakoda asks.

“No...needles…” he whines. A sob bubbles out of him but he’s too scared to be embarrassed.

“It’s okay, baby,” Hakoda murmurs and pulls something out of his backpack. He offers Zuko the stuffed bunny from his bed. Zuko snatches it and buries his face in the soft ears. “It’s okay to be scared. But I promise you it doesn’t hurt. It’s a little poke but it’s over in a second.”

“Don’t want to…” Zuko mutters. He feels like a baby.

“I know you don’t, honey,” Yugoda says gently. “But I’ll give you a sucker when you’re done.”

Zuko frowns. He doesn’t know that word. “Sucker?”

Yugoda turns back to a cabinet above the desk and takes out a pink circle on a stick wrapped in plastic. “It’s candy. It tastes like strawberries.”

He likes strawberries. Mama used to bring him little strawberry candies before she disappeared. He’d eat them quietly and quickly in the corner before Ozai could see him eating it. It was the only secret he and Mama had that he loved.

“Only a pinch?” He asks softly.

“Only a pinch,” Yugoda’s eyes twinkle. “You won’t even bleed. Your arm might be a little sore after but it’ll go away in a couple of hours.”

Zuko doesn’t mention he’s not afraid of bleeding. He spent so much of his life bleeding. He’s not even that afraid of the pain. The needle just scares him for some reason.

Maybe it’s because of how many were stuck in him at the hospital in Ulsan. He had one in his hand, one in his arm, one stitched up the wounds on his hand. He hated it and they never asked if it was okay to touch him. Rationally, he knows they had to, but he was in so much pain and so scared he just wanted them to  _ ask. _

He nods his head and Yugoda asks him to slip his arm out of his sweatshirt. She lets him pick which arm so he doesn’t have to bother his bandaged one.

“Alright, relax your arm, sweetie,” Yugoda says. “Is it okay to touch your shoulder?”

Zuko shakes his head. Yugoda nods to herself and places one of her hands on the bed next to Zuko’s hand. There’s a poke. Then a pinch. Zuko screws his eyes shut.

“That’s it. Just two more,” Yugoda says.

He’s poked two more times. His arm is sore after but Yugoda hands him the sucker. He gives it a tentative lick, smiles, and sticks the whole thing in his mouth.

“Good job, honey. You were very brave,” Yugoda says. “Dr. Pakku will be in in a few minutes. Hakoda, I’ll come back when he’s done so I can give you a sheet on how to help him gain some weight.”

“Thank you, Yugoda,” Hakoda says. Yugoda leaves and Hakoda smiles at Zuko. “You did a good job,” he says sincerely.

“Sore,” Zuko mumbles and lays down on his back on the bed. He presses the bunny against his chest, the weight centering him.

“Yeah, it’ll go away soon. Are you okay?” Hakoda asks.

Zuko nods, looking away. The small ache in his arm is reminiscent of blossoming bruises but he’s so used to being bruised it doesn’t bother him anymore.

There’s a knock on the door but Zuko’s too tired to sit up.

“Hello Dr. Pakku,” Hakoda says. Zuko tunes out what they’re saying, he figures it’s probably about him, and he crunches on the sucker.

The strawberry flavor explodes in his mouth and then he hears a new voice ask, “Alright, young one. Can I take off your brace and bandages?”

Hakoda watches Zuko’s eye go wide and he pops up into a sitting position. He glances at the door like he’s thinking about making a break for it.

“Where?” He whispers.

Pakku looks solemn. “Both your hand and your eye, I’m afraid. Yugoda said you’ve been resistant to touch but I’m afraid you can’t take them off on your own.”

Hakoda longs to hold his little boy in his arms when Zuko starts crying. He hides his face in his bunny and sobs.

“No,” he whimpers. Pakku pulls the chair up and leans close.

“It’s going to be okay, it’ll be over soon.”

Zuko growls and shouts something in Korean that makes Pakku scoot back. Zuko sobs brokenly and holds his hand out to Pakku.

“Just do it!” He shouts in English this time. Pakku sends Hakoda a worried look before turning back to Zuko and undoing the velcro on the brace. He pulls it off gently and starts unwrapping the gauze and bandages on his hand. Zuko refuses to look. He’s still crying into his bunny and Hakoda’s heart shatters. He knows he shouldn’t touch him right now. But he wants to hold him.

“You’re healing very well,” Pakku says and beckons Hakoda over to look at his child’s hand.

It’s grotesque.

There are several overlapping stab marks stitched back together again. His whole hand looks bumpy and swollen. The wounds are mostly closed, but they’re raised.

“Does it still hurt?” Pakku asks. Zuko nods. “Okay. Well, nothing’s infected but that does sound accurate. Can you feel your fingers?”

“No,” Zuko mumbles.

“Can you move them?” Pakku asks. Zuko strains and Hakoda watches his small fingers twitch. His whole hand spasms and he cries out. “Okay, okay. You don’t have to try anymore.”

“What does that mean?” Hakoda murmurs. Pakku sighs and grabs some dressing and new bandages.

“Pretty sure his nerves are damaged. And I wouldn’t be surprised if some tendons were severed.”

“Is it permanent?” Hakoda asks although he thinks he knows the answer. Pakku nods.

“The damage is so severe. The wounds will heal and it looks like the Korean doctors did a good job making sure he didn’t bleed out so amputation isn’t necessary. It’ll just...be useless. And of course, it will scar.”

Hakoda grimaces and then there’s a tug on his sleeve. Zuko pulls him closer and rests his head on Hakoda’s arm. Hakoda sighs softly and hugs his little one’s head against his chest.

“Is this your dominant hand?” Pakku asks.

“Dom-Dominant?”

“Is this the hand you write with?” Pakku says. Zuko nods. Hakoda winces. They’re going to have to help him learn how to be left-handed.

“You’re doing so good,” Hakoda murmurs. “Dr. Pakku’s almost done.”

“One more,” Zuko mutters.

“One more,” Hakoda agrees. “But then we can go home. We can go home and you can take a nap, okay?”

Zuko nods. Pakku finishes wrapping up his hand and he slides the brace back on. Zuko lifts his head and Pakku sighs.

“Alright, kid. I’ll try to do this as fast as possible. I’m going to need you to stay still, alright?”

“Fast,” Zuko whimpers. Pakku nods and stands up. Hakoda holds his breath and a piece of tape snaps and then the bandages fall off into Hakoda’s hand.

It’s absolutely horrible.

It’s bright red and as soon as the bandage comes off, something at the corner of his eye leaks pus. It reaches into his boy’s hairline and halfway down his cheek. His ear is melted and looks fused to his head. Zuko sniffles and Hakoda places his hand on his shoulder. Zuko lets him.

“I know it looks bad,” Pakku says. “But it’s actually healing really well. It’ll take a while to completely scar, but it’s coming along well.”

Hakoda lets go of his breath and Pakku steps back. “Zuko can you cover your right eye for me?” Pakku asks. Zuko does as he’s told and slumps against Hakoda. “Can you see me?”

“A little,” Zuko murmurs.

“Can you describe what you see?”

Zuko stammers for a second and looks up at Hakoda. He’s shaking again.

“Is Kelly here?” Hakoda asks. “She speaks Korean, right?”

“She’s here. I’ll message her. His English is still limited?”

“He’s just scared,” Hakoda says. “I think it’s just easier to speak Korean when he’s scared.”

“Fair enough,” Pakku says, and then the door opens. A young woman with her long hair in a braid. She speaks softly with Pakku before greeting Zuko in Korean. He perks up a little bit and replies to her. Then he covers his eye again and speaks to Kelly.

“‘It’s blurry and all the colors are gone,’” Kelly says.

Pakku nods and sits back down. He starts getting more dressing and bandages ready. “Can you tell me how it happened?”

Zuko whimpers. He speaks softly. Kelly’s eyes go wide and then she looks up at Hakoda.

“‘My dad sprayed hairspray on my face and then set it on fire with a lighter. And when it went out he did it again. And when that one went out he poured boiling water on me,’” she says.

Hakoda wants to vomit. 

Pakku rubs the dressing in as gently as he can but Hakoda still needs to hold him so he’ll stop flinching. Pakku puts the bandages back on and then Yugoda comes back to hand Hakoda a list of ideas to get Zuko to put on weight.

Zuko leans his head against the window in the back seat. He’s so tired. Hakoda tries to get him to talk but it’s a fruitless effort.

“You did so well today. I know it was hard,” Hakoda says. He’s not expecting a reply, and he doesn’t get one, but he kind of wants to just talk at him. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart. And your-” he trails off. “Ozai was a monster to you. You did nothing to deserve to be treated like that.”

Zuko yawns but doesn’t say anything.

“I want you to know,” Hakoda continues. “I will never hurt you like that. I will never hurt you.”

Zuko doesn’t respond.

“You’re safe with us. You’ll never be in danger like that again.”

Hakoda doesn’t expect to get a response but when they pull into the driveway, he hears a tiny voice.

“Thank you,” Zuko whispers. “For everything.”

Hakoda gets out of the car and helps his little one out of the car. Zuko holds his arms up and sniffs. Hakoda picks him up. Zuko buries his face in Hakoda’s neck and whimpers.

“You don’t have to thank me, baby.”

Suki sneaks through the door and closes it without waking Zuko up. Dad said he had a long, scary day at the doctor's and needs some rest. But Suki’s curious. He has new bandages on his face and hand. He’s cuddling his stuffed bunny and whimpering quietly.

“Zuko?” Suki asks. His eye opens. He looks so tired. “Were you sleeping?”

“No,” Zuko mutters. “Don’t like sleeping alone.”

Suki goes over to his bed and sits on the floor. “Why not?”

Zuko buries himself further in the blankets. “Scary.”

“You’re scared sleeping alone?” Her brother nods. “I can stay with you if you want.”

“Don’t have to,” Zuko whispers. “You...can go play.”

“I have homework to do anyway,” Suki says and pulls her backpack over. “I’ll keep you safe.” Zuko’s eye goes wide and then he reaches his uninjured hand out. Suki blinks but then takes his hand. His fingers wrap around hers and she gives him a little squeeze.

“W-Were you scared, too? When you got here?” Zuko murmurs. Suki tries to hide her surprise. She’s never heard him speak more than three words at a time. It’s still slow and clunky and heavily accented. But it’s two whole sentences.

“Yeah,” Suki says and rocks to the side a little. “I grew up in a women’s shelter in China. Until I was four. I’d never even seen a man before I met our dads. That took a while to get used to. I didn’t even let them officially adopt me until a year ago and the paperwork just went through like two months ago.”

“You were scared for that long?” Zuko asks.

“Not really,” Suki says. “Really CSA just told them to wait for a while. I was their first international adoption.”

“Inter...national?”

“I’m not from America.”

“Oh.”

“Aang came here by himself but he’s from Tibet. Toph’s birth parents are also Chinese but they lived in California.”

Zuko nods and drops their hands. “Scared of you,” he whispers. “Scared of all of you.” Suki cocks her head.

“Why are you afraid of us?”

“Have a bir-birth sister,” Zuko murmurs. “Mean. Hurt me.”

He’s trembling. He’s going back to tiny sentences. Suki takes his hand again. “Where is she?”

“Seoul,” Zuko whispers. “Hospital.”

“Well, we aren’t going to hurt you. We all want to be your friend. Your brothers and sisters,” Suki says with a smile. “Your good brothers and sisters.”

“Won’t be mean?” Zuko mumbles.

“We won’t be mean to you,” Suki says. “Dad says siblings fight sometimes but we’ll always make up. And we won’t hurt you.”

Zuko nods into his pillow and lets their hands fall. Suki takes her notebook out and starts working on her homework while her brother sleeps.

He still trembles in his sleep and something about that makes Suki’s heart ache. What is going to happen when he joins them at school? She promised that all her siblings wouldn’t be mean to him or hurt him but what if someone at school is? Zuko’s fragile. Dad said a bad man raised him and now she knows he had a sister who hurt him.

“Who hasn’t hurt you?” Suki mumbles at her notebook.

Dad comes to bring them down for dinner after a couple of hours. Zuko goes to the bathroom and Dad pulls Suki into a hug.

“Thank you for staying with him,” he murmurs. “You’re a good sister.” Suki beams up at her dad and then Zuko shuffles out of the bathroom. He holds onto Suki’s arm while they go downstairs.

Zuko tries to bury some of his excitement when he hears that they’re having some mac and cheese for dinner. He secretly watched some American TV show from behind a table while Azula was watching TV. He saw that meal on the screen. It’s possible that he only thought it looked delicious because he was starving when he saw it. But it made his mouth water.

He gets a smaller portion than the others but he’s kind of grateful for it. He still can’t eat that much. He takes a careful bite of mac and cheese and chicken and his eye goes wide.

“Good, Zuko?” Bato asks. Zuko nods and takes another bite. He didn’t realize how hungry he was. He still can only eat about half his plate but Bato ruffles his hair when he takes his plate away. Hakoda comes over with a cup filled with a thick, milk-like liquid.

“Honey, can you drink this?” He asks.

“What is it?” Zuko whispers.

“It’s something that will help you put on weight. It’s tasty, it’s vanilla.” Zuko reaches out and drinks half the glass before nearly gagging and pushing it back.

“Full.”

Hakoda sighs and takes the glass back. “I suppose that’s enough.”

“Zuko! Come watch with us!” Sokka calls. Zuko looks up at Hakoda.

“Go on,” Hakoda says with a smile. “Your brothers and sisters want to hang out with you.”

Zuko’s heart flutters and he runs away from the table to the TV room. Azula never wanted to hang out with him. Or if she did, he hated her games that somehow always wound up hurting him. He didn’t have any friends. No one ever wanted to be around him.

Now, these kids he’s terrified of want him around.

He clings to Suki and watches  _ Arthur  _ and thinks that all the shots and bandage changes were worth it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dad? Zuko?” Aang calls out from another part of the house. Zuko huddles against Bato’s side. He knows they’re not yelling for him, or at him, but raised voices in the house still terrify him and he doesn’t know how to tell Bato or Hakoda or Kanna. He kind of wishes Kelly from the doctor’s office was just around all the time. Then he could talk like a normal human and not in broken sentences.  
>  “In here!” Bato calls to Aang. Zuko flinches and Bato wraps his arm around his huddled body. There’s a rapid pitter-patter of footsteps and all five of them run into the room. “Is it Thanksgiving break already?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little TW for vomiting. Other than the usual TWs. It gets fluffy though.

**Ulsan, South Korea- October 2nd**

Zuko rolls onto his stomach in a desperate attempt to keep Ozai’s foot from ramming into his gut. He spits some bloody saliva onto the carpet and breathes heavily from terror and pain. Ozai sets the tip of his dress shoes underneath Zuko’s chin, forcing him to look up into his father’s thunderous expression.

“Are you so stupid that even the best tutor I could find can’t get anything through your head? How hard is it to learn a bunch of English vocabulary words?”

Zuko sniffles. He doesn’t reply. It’ll be worse if he replies. Tears roll down his cheeks and Ozai fumes. He draws his foot back and kicks Zuko in the mouth. He rolls away again and watches Azula quietly close her door. He didn’t realize she was there. He’s tempted to call for her help but he knows he wouldn’t get any. He’s nine. He understands his relationship with his sister now.

“These words aren’t even hard,” Ozai snaps. “‘Population, pandemic, conflagration, anthology?’” Ozai prods at his bruised ribs and Zuko howls in agony. White spots dance in front of him and he forgets how to breathe. Sometimes Ozai knows he doesn’t need to add new injuries. Just irritate the old ones. It’s the exact same effect. “Explain yourself, worthless creature.”

Zuko gasps and curls into a ball away from Ozai’s foot. He holds his arms up, protecting his face.

“He...d-didn’t do the review he promised me,” Zuko whimpers.

“And you didn’t study on your own?” Ozai shouts down at him.

“I did! I asked for help with some of the words and he said he’d review with me and then he didn’t! He-” Zuko trails off and shivers.

“He what?” Ozai demands.

“He...kept...touching me. Like...stroking my face and didn’t stop when I asked him to.”

“For the whole hour? Zhao tried to caress you for a whole hour?” Ozai scoffs. Zuko shakes his head.

“He hit me when I pushed him away,” Zuko whispers. Ozai rolls his eyes.

“You’re pathetic. I could let that man do a lot worse to you,” Ozai says. Zuko frowns and looks up. He hates the way Ozai is smirking.

“What do you mean?” Zuko murmurs.

Ozai laughs. Zuko covers his ears but the sound still pierces through. “Oh, Zuko. You don’t want to know.”

**Anchorage, Alaska, United States- November 24th, present day**

The front door flies open and Zuko looks up from the picture book he and Bato were looking through.

“Dad? Zuko?” Aang calls out from another part of the house. Zuko huddles against Bato’s side. He knows they’re not yelling for him, or at him, but raised voices in the house still terrify him and he doesn’t know how to tell Bato or Hakoda or Kanna. He kind of wishes Kelly from the doctor’s office was just around all the time. Then he could talk like a normal human and not in broken sentences.

“In here!” Bato calls to Aang. Zuko flinches and Bato wraps his arm around his huddled body. There’s a rapid pitter-patter of footsteps and all five of them run into the room. “Is it Thanksgiving break already?”

Aang nods repeatedly and crawls into Bato’s other side. “And we don’t have homework!” He adds loudly. Zuko whines and presses his face against Bato’s side. His face hurts. Not more than usual, but it makes everything more intense. He feels Bato run his fingers over his prickly head and hums quietly. It feels nice. He’s been with Bato all day, coloring and reading and sometimes just sitting quietly in the man’s arms. Bato also made him sit down and eat breakfast, a snack, lunch, and then another snack.

Zuko hated it.

His stomach hurts so much and the stuffed bunny on his belly does nothing to help.

He cried when Bato tried to get him to eat a snack after lunch. He felt a bit like a baby just leaning away from the table, face in the wall, wailing from the dread and anger about having to eat again. Bato bribed him with reading another picture book after he finished.

Zuko processes a word Bato said that he doesn’t know and looks up.

“Thanksgiving?” He asks. Toph jumps onto the couch next to him.

“It’s where we eat food and say what we’re thankful for,” she explains. “And it’s in two days.”

Zuko’s stomach clenches at the idea of a holiday surrounding food.

“It’s connected to when people from Europe came to this country and made a settlement,” Bato says.

“Settlement?”

“Like a town,” Bato clarifies and rubs Zuko’s arm. “But we don’t celebrate that part. Those people took the land from the Native Americans. We don’t celebrate those people, but we take the day to be thankful for our family and that our culture has survived all the attempts to get rid of it.”

Zuko pokes Bato’s arm. “Na-Native American?” He asks.

“No,” Bato says. “Hakoda, Sokka, Katara, and I are Inuit. Not Native American, but still a culture that has suffered.”

Zuko winces and remembers hearing something in one of his classes before Ozai took him out about how the Mongols and Japanese invaded Korea long ago. He wonders if that makes his culture one that has suffered, too.

“But hey,” Bato says, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “No homework, huh?” He asks and ruffles Sokka’s hair.

“No homework!” Sokka exclaims and then pulls on Zuko’s pant leg. Zuko whimpers, remembering his pants getting tossed across the room and pulls his leg closer to his body. “Zuko. Want to watch our shows?” Sokka asks.

Zuko wants to. He wants to go sit down and lose himself in colors and funny characters, but looking at anything bright has been excruciating. He shakes his head, sniffles, and buries his pounding head into Bato’s side.

“Face hurts,” Zuko mumbles. Bato stiffens and pulls away from Zuko.

“Want me to get some medicine, sweetie?” He asks. Zuko nods and pushes his face into the couch cushions. “Give him some space, kiddos,” he adds and there’s some shuffling.

“Go...watch,” Zuko says. “Be there when...not...hurting.”

“Okay,” Katara says softly and Zuko’s suddenly sad that he’s worrying her. He hears everyone walk away but Toph’s weight doesn’t leave. 

“I can’t watch anyway,” Toph says. Zuko smiles a little bit but it kind of pulls on his wound and he whines. “What does it feel like?” Toph asks. “Your face.”

“Like…” he trails off, trying to think of a way to describe the pulsing pain mixed with sharp stabs that ripple under his bandages. Sometimes it feels like being set on fire again. Sometimes it feels like being stabbed again. But he doesn’t think that Toph would understand what those two things feel like.

He hates that he knows what they feel like.

“Ha-Have you ever touched a hot pot?” Zuko asks. He sees Toph’s eyes widen and she nods.

“A couple of times. Accidentally. Before I had a cane and didn’t know where the stove was.”

Zuko nods to himself. “Like that. But like you didn’t let go,” he murmurs. Toph sets a hand on Zuko’s ankle. For some reason, the gesture calms him. It reminds him of Katara on his first day here. How gentle and soft and patient she was with him.

“That’s what it feels like now?” She asks.

“Yes.”

“That sounds awful,” she whispers in her tiny light voice. “Does it feel like that all the time?”

“Not all the time,” Zuko murmurs. “Sometimes it feels like you did let go.”

“But it still hurts after you let go,” Toph says.

“Yes.”

“So it still hurts all the time?”

Zuko nods, forgetting that she can’t see him. His good eye wells up with tears. He doesn’t mention that it’s not just his face that hurts all the time. His hand goes back and forth between being numb and tingling and like Azula is stabbing him all over again. It also hurts that Hakoda told him that he was going to get him some worksheets to practice writing with his left hand before he went to school.

He has to learn how to exist all over again.

He had to learn a new way to hold a fork.

A pencil.

Toys.

He’s going to have to learn scissors again.

Chopsticks.

A phone.

Bato comes back with some pills and a cup of water and Zuko takes them greedily.

“You’ll start feeling better soon,” Bato promises. Zuko just drops his head and curls up on the couch. A second later, he feels Toph lay on top of him. He’s glad all of his cuts have healed enough that it doesn’t hurt him when the little girl hugs him.

“You will. You’ll heal all the way soon.”

Zuko reaches for her hand with his good one and holds it. He likes Toph. She’s a bit of a bully, as he’s seen from her interactions with Aang, but a good bully. Not a mean one. A funny one.

But he likes this side of her, too. Soft and caring and curious.

They stay like that until the pain starts to subside enough that Zuko can close his eyes and let himself fall asleep.

Toph slides off her sleeping brother and navigates her way to the TV room. When she first moved in, Hakoda got her a cane so she would stop bumping into everything and hurting herself. Her birth parents didn’t let her have anything that would let the general public know she’s blind.

Hakoda didn’t let that stand.

He immediately got her help at school, a cane, and taught her how to read braille and use a computer.

But now she’s walked through this house enough to know where everything is and how to get there.

Plus she can follow the sounds coming from the TV. She walks into the room and finds the couch. She sits down and feels another body against her arm.

“Katara,” the body’s voice whispers. Toph grins. She likes it when the others let them know who they are when she sits by them.

“Where’s Zuko?” Sokka asks.

“He fell asleep,” Toph says. “I think the pain makes him sleepy.”

“Oh,” Aang says softly. Everything goes quiet for a second. Toph adjusts and listens to the sounds of  _ Word Girl.  _ She likes how distinct cartoon voices are. She always knows what they’re watching even if she comes in late.

“How can we make the pain better?” Aang asks. Toph shrugs.

“Don’t know if we can.”

That’s the sad thing. They all want to help and make it all better and okay for their brother. And they can’t. There’s nothing they can do.

The first day Zuko arrived was so different than when Suki arrived. Sokka said it was different than when Toph arrived. When Aang arrived. They never had to wait in the other room. They never had Dad set them down and tell them that their new sibling had been hurt before he got to them. Badly. That he was in pain and terrified and didn’t know a ton of English.

Though to be fair, neither did Suki or Aang when they first arrived.

Zuko knows more English than Suki did. Which makes Toph curious. She doesn’t totally understand how he knows so much or how he can usually completely understand them.

There are words he doesn’t know sometimes but he’s never just stared blankly back at them.

That’s what Katara said Suki did for the first few months. Although she learned quickly. 

Apparently, Aang only knew enough to get around an airport.

But there’s nothing they can do to make Zuko’s pain go away. There’s nothing they can do to un-hurt him. Someone hurt his face so badly it hurts all the time.

And that kills them.

Toph listens to the cartoons for a while until Dad comes in and tells them dinner’s ready. She gets up to go to the table but she hears sniffling in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry baby, but you have to take them,” Hakoda says softly. There’s a soft sob.

“No more,” Zuko whimpers. “Too much.”

“I know you’ve eaten a lot today. A lot more than you’re used to. But that’s why you need to take these. You need your vitamins every day, you’re deficient in everything.”

“I don’t know what that means!” Zuko wails. Toph rests her back against the wall of the next room. She wants to hear this. Maybe she shouldn’t but she does.

“It means you’ve been very unhealthy for a long time. But these vitamins are going to help you get better.”

“Don’t want them!”

“Zuko-”

“Don’t want them and don’t want dinner!” Zuko screams. Toph jumps and everything goes still and silent. Bato walks past Toph and goes into the kitchen.

“Honey you need to eat,” Bato says gently.

“No,” Zuko whimpers, quieter this time. “Hurts.”

“I know it does, baby,” Hakoda says softly. “But you need to put on weight.”

Toph frowns. She’s never really heard of someone having that issue. Always seems to be the opposite.

“No,” Zuko says again. His voice is shaky. Someone comes up next to her.

“Sokka,” the someone whispers to her.

He probably wants to listen, too. Or maybe he wants to watch.

“Can you please try?” Bato asks. “Just a few bites?”

“No,” Zuko says. Sternly. Toph can tell he’s getting frustrated.

“We’re not going to let you skip a meal, Zuko,” Hakoda says. There’s a whimper and some shuffling. “I won’t ask you to clear your plate. I won’t even ask you to take more than ten bites. But you have to eat something and you have to take your vitamins. I let you pass on them this morning but you need to take them today.”

“You said you wouldn’t hurt me,” Zuko whispers harshly. He’s properly frustrated now. Toph figures he’s never gotten his way once in his life and he can’t understand why these good people are trying to force him to do things he doesn’t want to do. Things that cause him pain.

“Zuko,” Hakoda says calmly. “We aren’t trying to hurt you. We’ll get you a heating pad and you can go lay down as soon as you’ve had a few bites.”

“Please,” Zuko whimpers. He sounds like he’s crying. “It hurts so much.”

“I know it does,” Bato says. “And I know this sounds dumb, but eating some dinner and taking your vitamins now will make it not hurt later. It might even hurt a little less tomorrow. I know this is a big adjustment from what your dad did to you, but it’s the only way to make it better.”

There’s another sniff. “I hate it,” Zuko whimpers.

“I know,” Hakoda says.

There’s silence other than Zuko’s soft crying and then Sokka pulls Toph away from the wall and back to the table. Toph takes her seat. A few seconds later, another body sits beside her. A body that’s sniffling and hiccuping tiny sobs.

Zuko.

Toph reaches under the table and puts her hand on his wrist. It’s his bandaged wrist so he flinches for a second before relaxing into her touch.

“You’re going to be okay,” Toph whispers. “Someday soon it won’t hurt anymore.”

Zuko doesn’t say anything. Just sniffs.

That’s another thing. None of them ever cried and screamed in anger and fear over having to eat dinner.

None of them ever needed the encouragement of the whole table to eat eight bites.

None of them ever immediately broke into tears and sobs after eating and needed to be picked up and taken upstairs.

It makes Toph cringe in horror. It almost makes her wish this had happened before so they’d know what to do when Zuko showed up.

Bato’s heart aches with every pain-filled wail that comes out of his little boy’s tiny body. Zuko clings to his shirt and pounds his small fist against his chest.

“It hurts!” He sobs. Bato stops walking at the top of the stairs and just holds his son. He strokes Zuko’s buzzed hair and whispers little nothings into his ear. It didn’t occur to Bato that the pain in his stomach might be bringing up bad memories or causing flashbacks until they were at the dinner table and he watched the boy sob and whimper with every bite. The one area Zuko hasn’t let any of them lay a hand on is his abdomen. Probably because his birth father beat the shit out of him.

“It’s alright, sweetie. You’re safe. You did so good, it’s over for today,” Bato whispers. Zuko sobs and shakes his head in Bato’s shoulder. “Do you want to go lay down?”

“N-No!” Zuko shouts. Bato frowns. Zuko starts pulling on his clothes frantically and breathing heavily, tears rolling like rivers, and then it happens.

It starts as a burp and then vomit almost explodes out of Zuko’s mouth and onto Bato’s chest. Zuko gasps for air and then heaves more out into the small space between the two of them. Zuko coughs and then looks up in horror. His eye is so wide that tears leak out without him blinking.

“I-I’m s-sorry!” Zuko wails. Bato shakes his head and brings them both into the bathroom.

“It’s alright, baby,” Bato says gently and sets Zuko down in front of the toilet. “Do you think there’s more coming?”

Zuko nods and cowers against the toilet. “I’m sorry,” he sobs. Bato sees the little one watching him carefully as he pulls off his vomit-soaked shirt and puts it in the laundry bin.

“It’s okay, Zuko. I’m not mad,” Bato says and kneels down beside him. Zuko trembles like a leaf and Bato grabs a towel from above them. He goes to the sink and puts it under the tap. Zuko heaves into the toilet bowl and Bato tries to suppress all his guilt to worry about later. He should have listened when Zuko begged him not to make him eat his afternoon snack. He should have just let him skip his vitamins. How much could skipping one day hurt? He should have let him stop eating dinner after five bites.

He was just trying to help.

He goes to sit down next to the boy and wipes the vomit off his chin and mouth. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Bato murmurs.

“You...were helping,” Zuko whispers. “Hakoda says I need to eat more.”

“You do,” Bato agrees. “But we might have pushed your stomach too far today.”

Zuko shuts his eye and more tears roll down his cheek. “P-Please. Don’t hurt me.”

Bato’s stomach falls and for a second he thinks he might vomit, too. “I would never hurt you, Zuko.”

“I...threw up...on…you,” he breathes out.

“Honey, I’m a parent. That’s just part of the job,” Bato says. Zuko cracks a tiny smile and Bato pats his knee. “You think you’re done?”

Zuko nods and Bato scoops him up. There’s still some vomit on Zuko’s shirt that rubs onto his chest but he ignores the cold, wet feeling on his skin.

“Let’s get you changed, yeah?”

“Pajamas?” Zuko murmurs. Bato nods.

“Pajamas. And I’ll get you a heating pad and some water. Do you think you could have a couple of sips of soup in a few hours?”

Zuko whines. “I...try,” he whispers. He’s tired.

Bato sets him onto his bed and lets Zuko change alone. He grabs the heating pad from him and Hakoda’s room and a cup of water from the bathroom. He passes the small pile of vomit on the floor and makes a mental note to clean that up once he gets Zuko to rest a bit. He goes back into the bedroom and sits down at the foot of Zuko’s bed.

“I’m sorry,” Zuko murmurs before he takes a sip of water.

“Don’t apologize, honey,” Bato says and plugs in the heating pad. He hands it to Zuko and watches him put it on his stomach and lays down. 

“Dad would have killed me,” Zuko whispers. It takes Bato a moment to remember that Zuko doesn’t call him or Hakoda ‘Dad’ yet. He’s talking about his birth father. Bato didn’t expect Zuko to talk about his father right away. He honestly wasn’t expecting to hear anything about Ozai for years.

“He was wrong, Zuko,” Bato says. Zuko stares at the mountain out the window. He takes a shuddering breath.

“One time...when I still went to school...I woke up...sick. I threw up on the stairs and in the living room. Dad threw my head onto the floor and forced me to go to school. I...fell asleep in every class and fell on the walk home. D-Dad didn’t clean it up. He made me do it when I got home,” Zuko says to the mountain.

Bato doesn’t dare breathe. “That was wrong, Zuko,” he gasps out. “He shouldn’t have done that to you.”

They’re silent for a second.

Then Bato can’t fight his curiosity anymore. “How old were you?”

“Seven,” Zuko whispers.

“Good God,” Bato murmurs. “Nothing like that will happen again.”

Zuko doesn’t say anything. He’s struggling to keep his eyes open. Bato pats his leg gently. “Get some sleep, baby. Call if you need me.”

“Okay,” Zuko mumbles, and then he’s breathing steadily. 

Bato wipes up the puddle of vomit and rubs a Clorox wipe on the spot. He imagines a smaller, skinnier, sickly version of his little boy cleaning up his own vomit and has to stifle his own.

He hates what’s been done to that boy. And he hates that he can’t fight Ozai for all the anguish he caused his son. 

Bato’s son.

Zuko wakes warm, cozy, and with Toph and Suki snoring softly. He looks out the window and watches snowflakes gently fall onto the windowpane outside. He distantly remembers what he told Bato about. He sits up and rubs his head, the thumping pain from his head slamming into the floor coming back for a brief second.

That was the day he realized he was trapped. He was trapped and probably going to die.

He fully expected his father to kill him. Every day. Every day until he got on a plane to Alaska.

He fully expected to die on November fourth.

He fully expected to die when he got to Nerlaq’s office.

He fully expected to die when he met Hakoda.

Sometimes, even here, he thinks he might die. That his heart might pound and race so hard it will give out. That his stomach will explode. That the pain in his head and hand will just force his body to shut down.

He doesn’t want to die anymore. He likes Bato. He likes Suki and Sokka and Katara and Toph.

He’s still on the fence about Aang.

He likes Hakoda.

Hakoda.

Zuko slips out of bed and tip-toes over to the door. He walks down the hall until he sees a door with a light underneath it that isn’t the bathroom. He stands in front of the door and starts second-guessing himself. What if he’s mad? What if he doesn’t care? What if-

Zuko knocks on the door to make the thoughts shut up and whimpers when he hears “Come in,” from the other side. He reaches for the doorknob and pushes the door open. Hakoda and Bato watch him come in from their bed. Zuko stares at the floor and rubs his injured wrist.

“Hungry,” he whispers. He is. His stomach is completely empty and he hates the hollow feeling filling every corner of his body. Hakoda smiles softly and steps out of bed.

“Does some soup sound okay?”

“Yes,” Zuko murmurs and takes Hakoda’s offered hand.

He’s safe here. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. Somewhere, in the back of his head, he’s realizing he’s safe here.


End file.
